Foreplay as wholesome sexual activity. Tips and inspiration
I have to confess - I don't like the term foreplay. This suggests that some activities are less important than others, they are only a prelude to something proper, expected. In the standard, stereotypical understanding, the activities defined as foreplay (oral sex shop, caressing the breasts, massages, kissing, etc.) are supposed to lead to the proper sex - that is, penetration of the vagina by the penis.Yet sex is a huge spectrum of activity, and none is less important than the other! In addition, treating buy sex toys in the "foreplay -> penetration" model excludes same-sex couples and people who get the most pleasure during these "preliminary" activities. And it makes partners treat these initial elements a bit disrespectfully, give themselves the right to rush them and skip them. Result? Less satisfaction.So today I would like to take a different approach to foreplay and present it as a full-fledged sexual activity, just as important and meaningful as penetration. I am aware that the term itself will stay with us, so instead of rebelling against it, I would like to redefine it a bit.
Start foreplay well before landing in bed
Many of us do not consider sex an integral part of our entire lives. Yes, the urge to have sex comes very spontaneously sometimes, but especially in long, hectic relationships, it can be a little more difficult. That is why it is worth arousing this desire every day! How?It is worth arousing the desire for sex every day. Showing tenderness and hugging each other in the morning, doing each other small pleasures, such as a note with a nice confession hidden in a coat pocket.
By showing tenderness and cuddling to each other in the morning, doing each other's little pleasures (breakfast or coffee in bed, a note with a nice confession hidden in a coat pocket) or doing a little homework that would ease the chores. Such action is already foreplay (in our new understanding).Such seemingly small details mean that when we dream of sex in the evening, a partner can approach this idea with much more enthusiasm than if you did not even look at yourself pleasantly all day.
IT IS WORTH KNOWING
Even the greatest efforts can sometimes fail to achieve the desired effect. Not wanting to have sex depends on many factors, and sometimes not wanting to feel like it is simply not wanting it. It doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.
Take your time!
It's worth redefining all the assumptions about foreplay you had so far in your head and try to approach the subject the other way around. Maybe a little experiment and this time you will put all these kisses, massages and cuddly toys in the first place? Or even better - penises go completely apart and this time hands, tongues, lips are moving? Will you take up the challenge?If so, before we begin, it is also worth familiarizing yourself with the concept of responsive desire, i.e. one that arises in response to certain actions. If you give yourself and your partner enough time, there is a much greater chance that the desired desire will ignite you with a huge flame.
We touch, massage and caress
Hopefully by this stage you have already dropped all assumptions and decided to go through this whole experiment of treating foreplay as full-fledged sex. What are my suggestions for you, what can you do to make it nice and pleasant?
I wholeheartedly recommend massages with my favorite massage candles ! With such activity, you are limited only by your own imagination, because you can do everything - massage the most sensitive places or, on the contrary, avoid them and focus on those to whom we do not pay too much attention on a daily basis. Flavored body paints are also something that may surprise you with the impetus of action. Trust me and try it.During such games, you can also use food, e.g. chocolate or whipped cream, but remember to use it from the waist up. Bacteria like a sweet environment very much, we don't want them to develop in the vagina or anus.Touching, pressing with your hands or feet is great, but have you ever tried to touch each other with a feather ? It can bring you completely new sensations. It can be equally interesting to cover your partner's eyes or ears with a scarf . Losing one sense at work can completely change the way you feel!
We dance, we change our clothes, we play roles
Sometimes it turns out that you don't even need to use your mouth or hands to achieve the desired effect. Just… show yourself! This is a great way to treat foreplay quite differently.You can suggest to your partner that you tie his / her hands (of course with consent!) So that he cannot touch you, and then you will dance for him / her. You can be naked or you can also be in erotic lingerie that he has never seen before, or in the stewardess or nurse costume he always dreamed of. Or you can both change up and play out one of the classic scenes. The possibilities are endless.
